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In this episode, Dr. Scott and Tommy have a conversation around some of the social aspects of fasting. As the world continues to open back up, new opportunities to get together and celebrate with family and friends means new decisions to make regarding when and what to eat and not eat. Goals, priorities, and balance all come into view as they navigate their way toward lifestyle balance.
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Fasting For Life Ep. 70
Dr. Scott Watier: [00:00:01] Hello, I'm Dr. Scott Watier,
Tommy Welling: [00:00:03] And I'm Tommy Welling, and you're listening to the Fasting for Life podcast, and
Dr. Scott Watier: [00:00:08] This podcast is about using fasting as a tool to regain your health, achieve ultimate wellness and live the life you truly deserve.
Tommy Welling: [00:00:15] Each episode is a short conversation on a single topic with immediate, actionable steps. We cover everything from fat loss on health and wellness to the science of lifestyle design.
Dr. Scott Watier: [00:00:25] We started fasting for life because of how fasting has transformed our lives, and we hope to share the tools that we have learned
[00:00:30] Along the way.
Dr. Scott Watier: [00:00:41] Hey, everyone just got here. Want to hop on real quick before we start with today's episode and let you know that our next 10 day challenge event registration link is live. It is found in the show notes for the dates and additional information. You can also go to the fasting for life dot com forward slash live. That is the fasting for life dot com forward slash live. And now to today's episode. Hey, everyone, welcome to the Fasting for Life podcast. My name is Dr. Scott Watier, and I'm here, as always, a good friend and colleague, Tommy Welling. Good afternoon to you, sir.
Tommy Welling: [00:01:15] Hey, Scott. How're you
Dr. Scott Watier: [00:01:16] Doing? Awesome, sir. I am looking forward to today's conversation. This is something that has come out of one of our recent conversations with our group coaching clients. And that call went really long. And it was fantastic because there were so many different takeaways and we felt that it would be a very timely conversation, kind of with where things are trending on a societal personal kind of trajectory.
Tommy Welling: [00:01:50] Yeah, the other day I was driving around and I noticed traffic for the first time in a while, right? Yep. And I got frustrated at first for like a microsecond. And then I said, wait a minute, I like this. I like more things happening. Things are opening up, like there's more energy outside than there used to be. It was kind of like it kind of got slow there for a while. So that's kind of where this conversation started.
Dr. Scott Watier: [00:02:16] Agreed. Agreed. And as as we've kind of gone through the incantations of the podcast, we're approaching 70 episodes. We've we've gone through. We typically like to dabble in the research, but we've really started to break down for different things. When it comes to fast, things are you're new to the podcast and you've got specific questions about what breaks a fast or what we believe in or kind of armont are outlined and how we look at things. Scan the topics right on the podcast episodes. If you're looking for something specific, we've probably talked about it at some point and if not, shoot us a message. But we really want to look at it through four different lenses, the practical side of fasting, different types, and how to make how to push the window and common mistakes, et cetera. So we've got a lot of topics on that. We've got the personal side of fasting to get your life back. Tommy and his journey, if you want to go listen, go back and listen to the first few episodes, self-image, different hobbies, how to stay motivated, those types of things. Then there's the social side, which is the one that we're going to talk a little bit about today, coming out of that conversation from the coaching call.
Dr. Scott Watier: [00:03:21] And this is really it's linked to the personal side, but it's it's really about the relationships and how to fast as a parent and attending social gatherings. And that's really where we're going to hit on a lot today is now that it seems like the world is starting to open up. We're coming out of the pandemic, the stay at home orders, all of those different types of things here in Texas. We've seen lowest numbers we've seen in since the start. So it seems like life is starting to return to normal. And we're going to talk about something that one of our clients brought up in the social side of fasting. And then we also talked a lot about the science of fasting. So those are typically the four frameworks and different episodes have different amounts of each one of those. So today we're really going to focus on the social side of fasting and hopefully come away with a couple of good a little bit of perspective in a couple of good action steps as we kind of get rereleased into the world. Right. As we kind of get rereleased back into normal, you know, and I just I just kind of liked where the conversation went.
Tommy Welling: [00:04:24] Yeah. What I thought was interesting when this brought up on the call was that the first two rules of fasting don't talk about fasting. Right. But that's really, really easy to do.
Dr. Scott Watier: [00:04:39] Didn't say the second rule. We don't talk about fasting. Right.
Tommy Welling: [00:04:42] I wasn't talking about fasting. So, you know, for the new people,
Dr. Scott Watier: [00:04:45] Our rules, like until you get some reps, the first two rules, like Fight Club, don't do it
Tommy Welling: [00:04:50] Right. Don't do it. It's dangerous. You know, stay away danger. But it's really easy to follow those rules when there's nobody else to talk to you about fasting or when you're not getting pressure to come join someone at a restaurant during the middle of your fasting window. Like it's it's super simple to to stick within your your fasting rules and your and hit your goals when when there's no outside influences coming. So so now that we're feeling some more of those people are getting more social invitations, people are getting together, there's more parties. That's going to mean opportunities and things to that's going to be more decision points than you might be used to in in recent past, where you're going to have to make some choices, have some priorities and and set up some new boundaries. And get comfortable with that in order to keep going in the right direction, right.
Dr. Scott Watier: [00:05:44] So some people might be sitting here. I completely agree and thinking, wait a minute. So what's the what's the framework here? So what this person who brought this question up has been is crushing. It started fasting in the fall. They're hitting their goals. They've lost 20 plus pounds and they've been in their own little petri dish. Right. Working from home, not having a lot of that outside social pressure. Right. Correct. Did did talk about how family had come in and family brought all of these different snacks. And there's pretzels on the table at like two p.m. because that's the older generation. That's what we does has their habits. Right. Everything goes slower. Yeah, but we're talking about it reminds me of when my wife's grandparents would come and visit. They always they always traveled because they drove here, always traveled with, like, all the snacks. Like they'd be like, hey, here's the turkey, here's the salted nuts. I'll look at this. I brought these wafer crackers. Let's go get some some charcuterie board. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, slow down. So we're starting to have that again as people feel safer. Yeah. And some of you may be thinking, well, OK, that was not my experience during during this. I was on the other end, right, where it was like, excuse me, where it was like, no, I've got an extra 15 or 20 Charite and everything in between. So I found something the other day that I really liked to kind of frame. This is, you know, marriage is hard, divorce is hard. So choose your hard. Obesity is hard. Being fit is hard. Choose your hard being in debt versus being financially disciplined. They're both hard to choose. One, communicating is hard. Not communicating is hard. Choose your hard right to life at some certain points and not to downplay any of the effects of what we've gone through as a society or as individual situations going through the last 12 to 18 months.
Dr. Scott Watier: [00:07:35] But, you know, we get the opportunity to choose our hard. So I really like the framework as we kind of talk through this conversation with our group coaching people was, you know, as we go back out right into the wild and start saying yes to some of these, hey, this is the first time we can get together in twelve months, like, let's get the girls together. Let's get the guys on the golf course. Like, all of that kind of thing is good to see. Family more is you know, you may be the outsider, but choosing your hard has to go back to your Y and your values and your goals, because what the statistics especially showed us during the last twelve months is that if you have extra weight and you're a type two diabetic and you have breathing issues and you are not fit or healthy right now, that you are going to have a lot more complications when it comes to, you know, the the situation in the surroundings around you. So this is showed us that not being in you can you can compare the United States to other countries like we are not healthy as statistically speaking. Right. So there's a real life application to this and that when you go back out, like you get to choose your heart, you get to choose your own adventure. Right. Like you get to decide, OK, why am I doing this and for what reasons? And I just like some of the conversation and talking points as we went through it.
Tommy Welling: [00:09:08] Yeah. You know, because, you know, getting like you said, when we have those invitations is is social situations. You might you might be sitting here thinking like saying no to that kind of invitation sounds really hard or doing something different, like like saying no to to a glass of wine or skipping breakfast that day or making some other choice like that. That might sound hard, but know the diet roller coaster is hard to like seeing the scale take up, you know, the next day because of the choices that you made the previous day, that that's that's hard as well. So, you know, just like you said, choosing your heart and, you know, just being being real with your own priorities and knowing that if you if you have weight loss and health goals, you're on this you're on this journey for a reason. You know, there will be decision points. And we're not saying to to give up all the social opportunities by any.
Dr. Scott Watier: [00:10:05] Yeah, yeah. Don't blow off the wedding that you've invited to. Right. Like, no, that's not real life either. So I like the example. There's a there's a baby skip
Tommy Welling: [00:10:13] Breakfast that
Dr. Scott Watier: [00:10:13] Day. Yeah. Right. Skip breakfast maybe to a couple of thirty six hour fast the week before. Anyway we'll talk about some action steps here and some what can look like to give you some empowering things to do if this is is something that you can relate to or something that you've been thinking about. And it was really framed as like almost an anxiety about it, like oh my God, I've made such good progress. Like, what do I do now? So we are going to talk about that to frame that conversation. I really like there's this comedian out there that talks about when if you are a non drinker and someone says, hey, I don't drink, there's. Answers like, why, why don't you drink? It doesn't happen with anything else, though, like it's not like I think the example he uses is mayonnaise. Like you don't eat mayonnaise. Why?
Tommy Welling: [00:11:01] How could you
Dr. Scott Watier: [00:11:02] Be like what? Like, what do you mean? Right. So it's it's funny because that also in my brain goes right too fast and you fast. Why that sounds miserable. You skip breakfast
Tommy Welling: [00:11:17] When you turn yourself right. Yeah. Like what are you doing.
Dr. Scott Watier: [00:11:20] Right. So there are some really cool frameworks and action steps, some real life applicable things on the practical side of fast and you can do to be able to say, yes, be confident and know that you're moving towards your goal.
Tommy Welling: [00:11:35] Yeah, you know, my favorite thing to do was whenever I started fasting because we used to live closer to certain family and we would go out on like weekly dinner, kind of just bring the family together. But when I when I started getting into fasting, I was doing some forty eight and some seventy two hour fast pretty regularly. And I didn't let those family dinners derail a lot of those, those fasting times. So what I did was I just took at the time I think it was maybe like fifty five pounds or something like that and then multiply it times by number of calories that I had and they said what, you're not eating dinner tonight? I said, no, I have one hundred and ninety two thousand calories stored. So like I'm good for a few for a few hours like I'm going to eat tomorrow. And they kind of stopped asking me the same question over and over again.
Dr. Scott Watier: [00:12:25] Now I will say that probably won't work for a lot of people because that breaks the first two rules of fasting. Don't talk about fasting, but I believe at that point that you were. Yeah, that wasn't going to affect you. So for the lesser the lesser of us, myself included, you know, you're going to have to pick your poison or make a decision about really what you want to do. Everyone want to hop on here real quick and let you know the next challenge event registration page is live the next ten day. Fasting for life ramp up challenge is live. Registration is open. You can go to the show notes for the dates in the link to get registered. You can also go to the fasting for life dot com forward slash live and Tommy real quick. So we don't take away from today's episode why we created these challenges. And the results we've been seeing was very intentional. You and I, when we started fasting, we were looking for support. We're looking for people to talk to. We're looking for answers and research and guidance. And really we packaged it all into one. So tell everybody real quick what's on the inside and what's waiting for them.
Tommy Welling: [00:13:35] Yeah, during this challenge, I mean, the format that we figured out that that works so well for people, no matter where you are and your fasting journey, whether you're new to fasting or your experience faster, maybe you're stuck in a plateau or looking to reenergize the way that we've put together the schedule and the education and the resources along this ten day timeline has just been incredible and delivering amazing results to so many people so far. So it's it's going to be another incredible challenge. And I can't wait to get started. So we'll see you on the inside. And let's get back to today's episode.
Dr. Scott Watier: [00:14:10] One of the things that I do currently is especially over the last few weeks and over the next few weeks is we've had we had Easter, we had a couple of birthdays where my son's birthday. We have family coming in for two weeks, a business trip. I'll be traveling. There's there's a lot of opportunity to to fall off, right. To not just maintain, but to go in the opposite
Tommy Welling: [00:14:38] Direction of decision points to. Yeah, a lot of decisions.
Dr. Scott Watier: [00:14:41] So we always talk about planning. Right. So planning ahead and even before you plan, it is OK to say no. So if you've got like five things coming up in a week and all five of those are like creating that little bit of I don't know how I'm going to navigate this, it might be OK to say, hey, I'll catch this group next time and it may or may not fit for you at that moment, but really keeping that end goal in mind. So when I go out or when I plan, I know that I'm going to set what it is that I'm going to consume before I leave. So I take the decision of the moment. I take the decision after I've had a couple sips of wine or that craft beer where the inhibition comes down. I take the decision making out of the equation so I don't end up with the appetizer, the twenty ounce steak, the dessert and the after dinner drink with the espresso. Right. So it's like, OK, what am I really wanting here? What's my goal are great. I'm going to have this and this is what I'm going to order.
Dr. Scott Watier: [00:15:45] So when I get there, I already know that I've I've chosen. I've been able to weigh outside of the emotion in the moment, the juice being worth the squeeze, I am going to consume this knowing that this is what could potentially happen tomorrow. Maybe my cravings will be up or I can't have that. Maybe I'll have a little more brain fog and maybe a sun celebration to a Monday. I can't do that because I have a really busy Monday packed with meetings and scheduling and hiring, and I can't do it. So what I choose to do on Monday then is pivot like, OK, well, what can I have on Monday? What what what would be what would fit and work for me in that moment? OK, well, I'll have a mimosa. Right. New recipe my wife made on Easter. Right. Love of mimosa. I'll have a little bit of food and then I know going earlier in the day, I know going into Monday then that I'm still going to be fresh and I'm still would have been a part of that experience as well.
Tommy Welling: [00:16:39] Right? Absolutely. I mean, that's that's great balance right there. And I love the the emphasis on taking the decision making out of the moment, because that is it's really tough to to come out of, like, tempting decisions. And sometimes we just have decision making fatigue. You know, the research shows it over and over and over again. We can only make so many decisions effectively in any given day. So when we take the number out and we take the pressure off and we do it when our inhibitions are are higher, then we're going to tend to have the better outcome.
Dr. Scott Watier: [00:17:16] Right, right. Right. So I love the framework of the food versus alcohol. Right. So there's for me, it's like, all right, if I'm going golfing, OK, can I have four white clothes and some cashews and be OK, or should I plan on having to like clothes and then go get the burger at the bar post around, you know what I mean? And don't worry, like I'm not we were not hopping in the car after ten. Why clause after around. There's always one guy that is designated and that's why we rotate the rounds. This is from months and months ago, too, by the way, because I've not been able to play. So I'm excited now that I've gotten clearance and get back out on the golf course. So I'm going to actually live this example here in the coming months where it's like, OK, so I use a more drastic example on the on the coaching car, I was like, OK, do you have the bottle and a half of wine and no dinner or do you have two glasses of wine and a nice dinner? I'm using the extremes as on purpose, but the reality is just fitting somewhere in between there. What's going to work for you socially to feel good, be a part of it, and then also feel good coming out of it. The opposite is what you alluded to earlier, Tommy, which is it's OK to just go and be social.
Tommy Welling: [00:18:32] Yeah, absolutely, you don't have to be ingesting you don't have to be taking in food and or drink, you know, just to just to be participating in a social gathering so you can it is OK to be in the middle of a fasting window and still have a good time and connect with friends and family or just like you said, like finding that balance point for what you actually do want to consume and not just going, oh, OK, well, everyone else is doing it. So why don't I just do that? Like, you don't have to completely do a 180 away from away from your goals and what you're used to doing now just to participate in that situation.
Dr. Scott Watier: [00:19:09] One of the other questions that I posed was what is your social circle look like? So are they a group of people that are encouraging? And I use the example of Aunt Jane, who's doing the most recent celery juice fad diet, or Uncle Joe, who's, you know, in his man cave 15 cause like, you know, kind of kind of part of the equation. Right. So, you know, we have those people in our family, but in our circle of friends, we probably have them, too. So is your circle the encouraging, uplifting circle or is it the circle that probably won't receive what it is that you're doing for your reasons? Very well. So it's something to take into perspective that whole choose your hard kind of concept. You know, you're going to be if you want to not be the statistic and have the other, you know, issues that a lot of people have in terms of their health. And you're going to need to do something different. And whatever that is for you, you just have to be comfortable wearing those clothes, so to speak, knowing that you're the salmon swimming upstream, knowing that you're choosing your heart. That's different from everybody else. And I just a little bit of reflection on, OK, is this group is this the group that I want to be going out with consistently or is this the one time, you know, invite because literally we are being rereleased, right. Like things are opening up again. And it's just been so much pent up energy. We're like, all right, I just got to go do it all. So just some things to think about in terms of kind of the framework on how to make this societal peace of fasting work for the current situation, but also for any type of holiday or wedding or work party in the future.
Tommy Welling: [00:20:45] Yeah, and I, I, I remember in the beginning stages when I was still getting comfortable with fasting, starting to quickly understand that if someone else doesn't quite understand it, but they're not, they're not getting to their own weight and health goals, that, you know, sometimes that's a little bit more confirmation that, OK, maybe I am on to something here. Maybe I am kind of on the right track, because if if I was doing exactly what what they're OK with and and they look and feel and act that way, then, yeah, I need to be doing something a little bit different. So, yeah, I think that's good. And it's kind of a contrarian conformation to to what you're doing.
Dr. Scott Watier: [00:21:27] Yeah. The person on the call too is like I like being that person. I was like great. So that framework might not work for some of y'all, just like time saying I have three hundred and seventy five thousand calories left. I'm good. I'm just going to hang out tonight right like that. I don't know if that would fly. I would fly with my family now because they know but yeah it's really just figuring out that's why the social side of things is so closely related to to the personal side of it, your decisions, what your goals are, where you are, and just shout out to them to because we've been we've been they've had great results as we've kind of gone through these trying last 12 to 18 months. I don't remember how long it's been now, but over a year for sure. So with that, as you kind of wrap up today's episode, Tom, any final thoughts or action steps or takeaways? If you guys are new to fasting for life, you can go to our website, the the fasting for Life Dotcom, the fasting for Life Dotcom download the Fast Start guide. You can get on our newsletter. And if you're looking for basics of fasting and what it is that we think constitutes a fast, breaks the fast, etc., and some of those more practical and research side of things, just go ahead and take a gander through the episode list. So as I was filibustering there, told me to give you some time to think about a final thought for today. And as we wrap up the episode, which got
Tommy Welling: [00:22:54] I didn't need any additional time there.
Dr. Scott Watier: [00:22:55] I know I was just getting through, you know, I was going through the routine, wanted everybody feel welcome, are new to the podcast. I have been with us for a while. You know,
Tommy Welling: [00:23:04] I liked it. It was good. But for for an action step, as we kind of get out there and find ourselves in more social situations, just remember that timing is everything in so many different ways. But what I really mean by that is, you know, if you if you have a social gathering, you find yourself at a party or on a holiday, get together, put some more time between and be deliberate with the. Time that you put between your actual meals and your food and drink intake, because it just takes a little bit more time to get through some of those processed foods, extra baked goods, whatever, whatever it may be. Alcoholic beverages.
Dr. Scott Watier: [00:23:45] Yeah, the extra beverage, that's. Yep. Right.
Tommy Welling: [00:23:47] Put some more time between that so you can actually have time to get through the calories to process it all. And then you can, you can stay on track, you can keep the scale moving in the right direction and maintain the feeling of control just by putting a little bit more, more time on the on the front end and or on the back end. So, you know, maybe skip skip breakfast, lunch, you know, enjoy the evening, get together and so forth and find yourself getting right back on track or staying there and keeping that that sense of control.
Dr. Scott Watier: [00:24:18] So what I just heard there, Tommy, for the for the new people was the meal timing is more important in the beginning than anything else. So keep the main thing, the main thing, push the window before, like you said, skip a meal coming out of it, push the window a little bit, but just going to have to play around with it a little until you get more comfortable with the meal time in concept and skipping meals and and having those conversations. So luckily now with how things are trending, I think they'll be so much excitement that you probably won't be noticed if you decide to make a decision to abstain. But hopefully there's a few things in here today that you guys find valuable. So, Tommy, as always, sir, thank you so much. And we'll talk soon.
Tommy Welling: [00:25:01] Thank you. So you've heard today's episode and you may be wondering, where do I start? Head on over to the Fasting for Life Dotcom and sign up for our newsletter, where you'll receive fasting tips and strategies to maximize results and fit fasting into your day to day life. While you're there, download
Dr. Scott Watier: [00:25:18] Your free Fast Start guide to get started today. Don't forget to subscribe on iTunes, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. Make sure to leave us a five star review and we'll be back next week with another episode of Fasting for Life.
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